If It's You
by rosepetalsforpaper
Summary: There are some people you make exceptions for. Even if it takes you years to realize it.


Cye lifted the back of his hand to his mouth, hiding a yawn without letting go of the knife he was holding. He returned to chopping food for dinner, a much-needed chore considering his stomach had woken him up from a dead sleep. He was, as far as he knew, alone in the house—Mia had class, Sage, Rowen, and Kento had cram school, and Ryo had left a note he'd be home late.

He stayed half focused, senses enjoying a much-needed break after his shift, when he heard Ryo call out, "Finally up, Cye?"

Cye laughed. "Very funny. I think I slept for eighteen hours…"

Ryo appeared in the kitchen doorway, smell of his cologne mixing in with the smell of the fish Cye had cooking. "You were out like a light when Mia picked you up. I had to carry you in the house."

Cye hoped the glance over his shoulder at Ryo wasn't too obviously affectionate. "I wondered how I got to bed…"

Thankfully, Wildfire didn't even seem to notice. He shook his head with a small smile. "Think you'll get used to it? The 24-hour shifts, I mean."

Cye turned back to chopping. "I hope so… I'd rather not pass out every time."

Despite having his EMT certification for years, Cye had never gotten the opportunity to actually _work_ as a paramedic until after high school finished. Medical school was still a ways off, for him. He'd rather avoid as much debt as possible by taking time off to work. Besides, he'd felt strange enough for the past three years, being a grade ahead of the guys. He'd rather be a freshman at university with them, even if they did end up going to different schools.

"How was it, though?" Ryo gained a wicked grin. " _Other_ than not sleeping."

If asked, Torrent would say his blush came from teasing and not from the way Ryo had looked at him just then. "Blissfully uneventful, thankfully! Although I heard first shift horror stories the whole time."

Ryo's smile barely budged even through a wince. "Ouch…!"

"The record was three back to back calls, one of them life and death, one of them involving a drunk dial and potential overdose, and one of them involving a child and a helicopter parent. She said that the minute they'd sit down, the alarm would ring again!" Cye laughed despite himself. "Everybody else reassured her this was _not_ normal."

Wildfire laughed along and parked himself at the table, draping his jacket over an empty chair. It was only now Cye noticed he seemed cleaned up, although the cologne should've tipped him off he had something special. He was actually wearing his tie, for once, and there was a distinct lack of White Blaze fur on his uniform. Even his hair looked better, when he hardly ever bothered to brush it for school.

"How was your date?"

Ryo snorted, unfazed by perceptiveness after four years of being around Sage and Rowen. "At this rate, I'm tempted to take a page from Sage's book and try guys."

Cye kept a practiced-neutral expression as he took the pan off the heat and returned to chopping for the side dish. The thought of Ryo dating guys was not exactly a thought he wanted to entertain for the most selfish reason he could think of. "That bad, huh?"

"Mmmhmm…" Ryo rubbed his face. "Not so much _bad_ as I've just had terrible luck lately." He ran his fingers through his hair and somehow managed to muss it up back to normal in thirty seconds. "I mean, I guess I'm used to you guys knowing everything about me…"

There was a certain amount of 'nobody else knows what it's like to fight the Dynasty' in his tone. Ryo struggled the most with returning back to regular life. He carried the memories close to his heart and kept wanting to reveal them to others, just because they were such a part of him. He didn't— none of them did— but it seemed to weigh on him almost as much as Sage and Rowen.

"I'm sure there's a girl out there somewhere for you," he said, mostly to remind himself Ryo was straight. The previous conversation had not helped the crush he'd kept under lock and key for a year and a half. Neither did the frequent times Ryo played along with any guy flirting with him, patrons at gay establishments included. "If you're not attracted to guys, no real point in trying…"

Ryo snorted. "As if you know anything about crushes."

Torrent was _incredibly_ thankful he was adept at hiding this part of his feelings, and that his fingers were nowhere near the knife he was still holding. "Believe it or not, I _have_ had one or two."

Ryo leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. That look was nothing sort of disbelief. "First I'm hearing about any."

Cye laughed. A nervous sound. He hoped he could simply pass it off as uncertainty about romantic feelings like the others did. "They never really… _can_ go anywhere."

His disbelief only intensified. "C'mon, now, who'd pass up a guy like you?"

"One person was taken." Cye very carefully resumed his chopping, keeping the knife against the board when he spoke next. "The other… well, he's straight." He braced himself for a comment on the pronoun, but instead got something much different.

"I'd probably date you."

The sound in Cye's mind was akin to a record scratching.

"I mean," Ryo continued, head tipping back so he was looking at the ceiling. "If you were into me. I'm… comfortable around you, I guess is what I'm saying." He laughed softly. "Thinking about how I feel about you is what drove me to consider getting into guys."

The record scratching continued the more he spoke.

Ryo looked down and noticed Cye's rigid posture. The chair scrapped back as he stood. "Cye? I'm… I'm sorry if that was too much I— I should've…"

"No, it's…"

Ryo stopped talking, waiting for Cye to continue. Meanwhile, Cye's tongue was knotted around the thought of admitting this to his best friend, one of the few people he had ever _been_ close enough to crush on, the one friendship he would refuse to ruin on principle. Torrent hummed encouragingly under the surface of his swirling emotions. He had always relied on trust.

"I…" He swallowed. "You're the guy I was— _am_ crushing on."

Cye refused to look away from his cutting board to see what Ryo was feeling. He'd always shied away from crushes or talk of them, Sage bringing up how he might be one of the people who never gets crushes and Cye agreed just to hide the fact it took him far longer than normal. Ryo was the first _real_ crush he'd had, the one that stubbornly refused to leave, and now he'd put it all on the line for saying something he could have kept hidden for the rest of his life.

Ryo put a hand on his arm, drawing his attention. "Cye… I meant it. That I care about you that much, I mean."

He searched Wildfire's face and kept landing on the way Ryo's lips were pulled up in an uneven smile, him the only person who could make what was normally a smirk look just as genuine as a full grin. The soft, gentle glint in his eyes when he cared about a person.

A moment later, his features were nothing but concern. "Cye?"

He blinked and tears he hadn't realized were building up spilled out. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around Ryo, one hand fisted around the knife he was gripping too tight to let go of. Wildfire's breath caught before he _enveloped_ Cye, arms tighter and more protective than a simple hug.

"It's okay," he said softly. His next words were almost tinted with hesitation. Almost. "I've got you."

Cye squeezed tighter, burrowing into something he didn't want to call a lover's embrace but he lacked any other words to describe it. Something he didn't think he'd get. Not from Ryo, at least.

"Um, Cye…" he said, spine straightening. Before the feeling of dread could take hold, he continued, "You might want to put that knife away, before Wildfire comes out…"

Torrent burst out laughing and pulled back, careful not to let the knife scrape against Ryo's shirt again. He put it down on the cutting board and wiped his eyes, a mix of relieved the hug was over and craving another so much his skin ached.

Ryo put his hands on Cye's shoulders, eyes back to gentle and far happier than they had been a moment ago, now that Cye had laughed. "We'll figure it out, alright? I'm… not completely sure how I feel, right now."

"I'm not, either." It was only a partial lie. Torrent knew how he felt about Ryo, but not about a relationship with him. He managed a smile. "I'd rather wait and have you be sure."

"Thanks." He pulled Cye back into a hug, this one more like the hugs he'd given out before. It was still tighter than normal. "And thanks for telling me."

"It's nothing."

Cye's voice didn't feel right in his throat, the butterflies in his stomach trying to come out and the residual exhaustion from the shift and the fact he had barely made any progress on dinner.

Ryo pulled back and held Torrent's hands. "You're shaking."

"I— I'm fine." He pulled his hands back and tried to return to cooking. "I just need to eat."

Ryo gripped Cye's arm, effectively stopping him. "I'll finish this. You rest."

Torrent didn't have anything in him to protest. He took a place at the table and laid his head on his arms, closing his eyes and letting his mind turn off. Which meant he missed the early signs of another group coming in and was, instead, awoken by yelling across the house.

"I hope you made enough for everyone!"

"Shut up, it's for Cye!"

There was a long pause before Kento replied, "Ryo?"

Cye rubbed his face and looked up to the guys walking in. "Ryo's already taken care of the 'finally up' line for you, before any of you can say anything."

Ryo laughed. "And he was still half asleep when I came in. Figured I'd take over."

And an excuse made as efficiently as that.

Kento glanced at Cye. "Geeze. Sounds like you were rivalling Rowen."

"I resent that remark."

"More like resemble," Sage replied.

Cye chuckled. "I slept… eighteen hours? Twenty?"

"You told me eighteen."

The conversation turned to how his shift had gone. The utter lack of sleep he got drew a whistle from Rowen, who muttered something about how even his insomniac self would have been able to sleep after that. Ryo finished cooking shortly after, an indication of just how long Cye had been out of it; once he became available, the guys readily asked about the date in the hopes it would be more interesting than spending the whole night at the station.

Ryo didn't bring up the possibility of dating guys.

Cye was more grateful for that than he could articulate.

—

He insisted that he couldn't sleep that night because he'd slept for most of the day. It wasn't a complete lie. Torrent hummed his true feelings, but he left them in the ocean like an undertow. When sleep continued to evade him, Cye crept past a sound asleep Kento and made his way outside.

Of course, Rowen was out there stargazing.

He looked up at Cye's footfalls and chuckled. "Sleep schedule thrown off too much?"

Cye laughed in reply. "Yeah, I guess. Just… too much on my mind."

Rowen gave him a quick, appraising glance. "Wanna talk about it?"

"It's just that guy again," Cye said quietly. Out of everyone, Rowen understood not being able to have people he loved the most, so he'd been the choice for giving subtle hints of _a_ crush without saying who it was. Sage had been relatively lucky, Kento was straight and didn't deal with incompatible orientations the vast majority of the time (unless he fell for a lesbian at a gay bar), and there was not a single force of nature that could make Cye talk to Ryo about this. Rowen, though, understood the bone deep ache of an unrequited crush. He'd spoken of his own, similarly not saying who he was.

Rowen kept his body unusually relaxed, like he always did. "What about him this time?"

Cye swallowed. "I… might have a chance."

Strata slowly stood up from looking out the telescope, eyes widening. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." He ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the stars. "He said he was considering guys, and I'd be the guy. If he… feels that way about me."

Rowen eyed Cye up and down, taking in every part of his body language. "I'd say congrats, but I'm not sure you wanna hear that."

Cye twitched a smile. "It's hard to be hopeful after this long. Believe he's actually… going to, y'know?" There was more, like all the implications that came with having a relationship, but he forced those fears down and focused on the fact he had to get a 'yes' before those even became a possibility.

"Yeah," Rowen said with a sigh. "It is." He snapped himself out of his own melancholy and clasped Cye's shoulder. "But hey— at least he's considering it, right?"

The way Ryo's eyes had sparkled that evening, every side glance where the blue looked like the Hagi Sea in the sunlight, floated back into Cye's memory. He smiled despite himself. "Yeah… yeah he is."

Rowen dropped his hand and went back to his telescope, leaving the conversation in open ended silence. It was, for all intents and purposes, finished— except the way Rowen kept looking back at Cye and keeping Strata responsive to any telepathic or empathetic messages, it didn't have to be.

"I don't know how he'll handle me being asexual…" Cye rubbed his face, hiding a sigh. "Let alone repulsed."

"Well—" Rowen pulled back from his telescope again. "I guess you don't want to hear any 'if he liked you' stuff, huh?"

Cye shook his head.

"It'll be okay," Rowen said softly. " _That_ much I can count on."

That got Cye to crack a smile. "Thanks, Rowen." He yawned. "I think I should _try_ to get my sleep schedule back on track, now."

Rowen barked out a laugh. "Considering it's one am."

He chuckled and waved at the resident night owl, leaving him to whatever chart he was planning _this_ time. Knowing Rowen, it'd be something like how often the planets overlapped at Mia's house. Cye wasn't sure if that was his sleep-fogged brain coming up with something implausible, or if he'd been hanging around Rowen enough he could actually guess what project Rowen was theoretically working on.

Cye was sure he only fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. If left to his own devices, he would've continued to think about feelings threatening to overwhelm him. Instead of fighting, he resigned himself to the unceasing tide and dreamed of snippets of the future he _could_ have.

He stayed in bed late the next day, if only because he didn't want them to end.

—

Days came and went. More shifts came and went. Cye stopped asking how he'd get to bed, not sure who'd brought him in and not wanting to find out Ryo had taken his watch and boots off, or removed Torrent from his pocket. They hadn't spoken about where Ryo stood— Cye didn't want to pressure him to make a choice before he was ready, no matter how much he wanted to know the answer.

He'd tried to avoid contact, even, just because the sheer awkwardness of being somewhere between friends and boyfriends was too much for him to handle. He was glad to get away to work; a whole day where he had to think about everything but home, and he'd be passed out when he got off.

Except for today, where he found himself waking up while being carried piggyback, his nose breathing in a very familiar scent. He groaned at the return of his exhaustion headache, tightening his grip.

An equally familiar laugh responded. "Waking up already?"

"Shut up…"

Ryo's laugh brightened. "Guess not."

Cye stayed very quiet as Ryo put him down in the room he shared with Kento. Cye glanced to the side and half sat, half fell on the bed. Rowen had told him how much sleep deprivation acted like alcohol, but Cye had never been drunk so it's not like he had a comparison point. If this _was_ what being drunk felt like, he never wanted to ingest a drop of alcohol as long as he lived.

He fumbled with his watch as Ryo stayed in the room. He didn't say anything until Cye went to his boots, rubbing his face and still struggling with the laces.

"Are…" Ryo cleared his throat, still keeping an eye on his progress. "Are you okay?"

Cye nodded. "I just want to pass out."

"Don't forget to take Torrent out of your pocket."

It took a minute for Cye to register what Ryo had said, at which point he paused working on his shoes and reached for the armour orb. He almost forgot he took it to work, because every time he woke up it was on his bedside table. The way he put it down lent to the orb nearly rolling off the table until he managed to stabilize it after two attempts.

"You _sure_ you're okay?"

Cye was about to brush it off again, only to look up and have his sleep-fogged brain process the absolute heart-wrenching concern written all over Ryo's face. Cye hadn't gotten used to his shifts yet, his sleepiness was throwing off his schedule, and he'd been withdrawn just from lack of energy to interact with anyone. A few calls had rolled in, as well, giving him a taste of the life he'd have for the next while. He couldn't place what, exactly, was unsettling him about them, but he'd been feeling strange about how lives were literally in his hands. Maybe it had worn on him more visibly than he thought, and the guys had noticed but kept quiet till now. And Ryo always did feel concern more intensely.

It was one of the reasons Cye fell in love in the first place.

Torrent's reply was more heartfelt than he intended, but maybe his inhibitions had been lowered thanks to being drunk on sleep deprivation. "I'll be alright, Ryo."

Ryo didn't seem put at ease, or even partway convinced, but Cye's eyes were closing and Wildfire knew his window of conversation was over. Torrent finished pulling off his boots and lay down, curling up under the blankets without caring about his uniform.

As he drifted off to sleep, he could've sworn he felt Ryo pull the covers up tighter around him.

—

Cye didn't sleep quite as long as he had been after his shifts, nor did he feel as tired when he woke up. He couldn't tell if his body was adjusting or if he was so far in the realm of overtired that he was functional again. But at least it was morning, for once, and Cye actually had the day to enjoy.

He still spent most of it napping on the couch, but at least he heard the door open.

"You up, Cye?"

Torrent chuckled and sat up a little straighter. "Yeah, I'm up."

Ryo walked in and dropped his bag on the floor. "Up for talking?"

Now, Cye swallowed. He flicked the TV off, putting the remote slightly out of reach out of habit from talking to Rowen. He didn't want Ryo to feel like he had anything else on his mind. "Y-yeah, up for that."

Wildfire sat down on the couch across from where Cye was sitting, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair and licked his lips. "You mean the world to me."

"So do you," he responded, barely able to speak louder than a whisper from the lump in his throat. He couldn't believe he was hearing this, having this conversation.

Ryo looked down at his hands, seeming to study his palm. "I thought I just cared about you like I care about the others, but…"

It took everything Cye had _not_ to prompt him, but he'd sworn he would never push Ryo into this. That resolve was strong enough to keep him silent.

"I want all of you with me for the rest of my life but with _you_ I want you… beside me, I guess." Ryo looked up and took a breath. "But… closer, even."

"You mean…" the words slipped out before Cye could stop them, his emotions a swell in his chest that was too big to do anything but _feel_.

A smile tugged at one side of Ryo's mouth. "I want to be yours."

Despite expecting it, the way he'd been talking, a part of Cye had refused to believe it until he heard those words. "You're sure?"

Ryo got up and crossed the space, putting a hand on Cye's shoulder. "Positive."

Torrent wasn't completely certain if he stood up on his own will or if Ryo pulled him up with a hand on his jaw, but the next moment he was pressed against Wildfire, a hug tight enough he could feel Ryo's heart beating in his chest.

This time, he didn't hesitate to call it a lover's embrace.

"I take it you accept?" Ryo said with a soft chuckle.

Cye broke down laughing, squeezing Ryo even tighter. "Yeah." He loosened his grip when Ryo seemed to be struggling to breathe. "I'm yours."

To his surprise, Ryo relaxed. The fear must've gotten to both of them, even though there was apparently no reason to doubt. The nagging pressure of having to explain this to the outside world was on the edges of Cye's mind, but he simply turned his face more towards Ryo's neck and shoved it away. He wasn't going to let society dampen his euphoria. Not yet, anyway. The one man he wanted more than anything, the one he thought would be out of reach, was in his arms. That was all he cared about right now.

Mia came home to see Cye curled up against Ryo's chest, both of them watching TV. She gave them a knowing smile and Cye wondered if she'd seen anything, or if she was just giving them privacy and would ask questions later.

The guys coming in, however, were a much different story.

"Hey, guys," Kento said. "Mind if we watch—"

The two men on the couch looked up at the dead silence, every single one of the guys openly staring. Rowen was, of course, the first one to blurt anything out.

"It was _Ryo?_ "

Cye turned beet red at the multiple implications in Rowen's tone, ducking his head to avoid looking at anyone— most especially his new boyfriend, who levelled a raised eyebrow at the top of Cye's head.

"How long have you been crushing on me?"

Cye cleared his throat "A year and a half…"

Kento whistled. "Hell of a poker face, Cye."

"Or Ryo's oblivious, as usual," Sage said with a smirk.

"To be fair," Rowen offered up. "I missed it."

Sage side-eyed him. "You can be just as oblivious as Ryo."

Now it was Rowen's turn to blush. His wasn't as dark as Cye's.

Kento flopped on the couch Ryo had occupied previously, glancing between the others. "Aw, man, am I the only straight guy here?"

Ryo laughed. "Looks like." He squeezed Cye a little closer. "Although I'm… _mostly_ straight. Just fell for this guy, first."

Kento stuck his tongue out in mock disgust, looking away. A moment later he was grinning, the guys all giving some semblance of "congrats".

 _'Told you it'd work out,'_ Rowen said.

 _'Yeah, you did_. _Thanks, Rowen.'_

Kento stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I'm already calling Rowen and Sage love birds. I _could_ call you loverboys…"

"Kento!" Cye snapped out, the room dissolving into laughter around him.

Ryo was the first to calm down. "C'mon, Cye, you knew a nickname was coming."

Sage smiled and poked Rowen. "We finally won't be the only ones."

"And finally the nickname goes to an actual _couple_ ," Rowen teased back. Cye thought he saw a flash of something in Rowen's eyes, but it was gone before he could place it.

Kento crossed his arms, still thoroughly amused. "What good's being the only straight guy if you can't tease all your gay friends?" Before Sage could say anything, he added on, "Although I guess two of you are bi."

Ryo chuckled. "Yeah… guess I am."

Cye yawned and snuggled closer, emotions of the day leaving him drained and significantly calmer than he had been over the past week. He hadn't realized how much _not_ having Ryo wore down on him— not until the pressure of hiding how he felt released.

"Want to go to bed, love?"

Cye shook his head. "Not really."

"Get a room, you two," Kento muttered.

Cye and Ryo stuck their tongues out at him.

"It's not like you guys _haven't_ been carrying me to bed most days," Cye said.

"Mostly Ryo," Sage replied. "So it's not like it'd be much different."

Rowen snorted. "It's only _really_ obvious in hindsight that you two like each other."

Cye mustered a glare at Strata for the glint in his eye. "And you _still_ didn't see it."

Everyone laughed at Rowen's pout. "Hey, I'm autistic, gimme a break…"

"Should've known, though," Sage said in his absolute deadpan voice that _always_ indicated a joke. "Opposites attract."

Ryo laughed, Cye smiled— especially when Wildfire found his hand. "Guess I needed somebody to balance me out."

Cye's smile turned into a smirk. "And save you when you decide that you just _have_ to go underwater in your armour…"

Ryo poked him in the shoulder with his free hand. "Hey, one of those was to wake you up."

"And now he takes your might as well be comatose hide to bed when you come home…" Rowen said, glint back in his eye.

Cye snorted. "And I've pulled his _actually_ comatose hide out of the water."

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

Everybody in the room replied with a resounding, cheerful, "Nope!"

Ryo groaned, head flopping back on the couch.

Rowen held up a hand and started counting off his fingers. "We could switch to the time you were nearly crushed by Talpa's ball of Nether Spirits, or how you got poison in your eyes, or—"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" He shook his head, sighing so deeply his chest shrank. "Good thing I got together with an EMT then, hm?"

Cye squeezed Ryo's hand, sensing Ryo's unease despite the good-natured teasing. ' _I fell in love with all those moments you were selfless. And more.'_

The negative feelings ebbed, Ryo holding Cye closer. ' _Thanks, love.'_ He paused a moment, conversation in the room dying down, before saying, "I… _should_ do my homework, though." Everybody minus Cye turned to look at Ryo. He chuckled nervously and rubbed Cye's arm. "I was a bit distracted, what can I say?"

Cye reluctantly pushed himself up and stretched. "I guess I should go to bed, then, and let you work."

"Need some help?"

Kento raised an eyebrow. "I'd tell you two to get a room, but you're already heading th— actually, I should tell you to get to _Ryo's_ room because I'd rather you not make out in mine."

Ryo laughed as he got Cye settled in their usual piggyback. "Naw, I think Cye's too tired for that."

Cye just nodded, trying to not show the upset he felt at Kento's comment. Any reminder at the normal, expected progression of relationships made him withdraw. Everybody at least guessed he was ace, but nobody knew what he thought about sex— except Rowen— and now Ryo would have to know.

Ryo put Cye down in his room but almost immediately turned around and put his hands on Torrent's arms. "You okay? You… tensed up."

"I just…" He sighed, looking away. "Thinking about the future."

Wildfire's fingers went under Cye's chin, gently turning his head so he was looking up again. "Tell me."

Gentle blue eyes broke down his defenses. Still, his voice was quiet. "I don't… I don't want sex. Never have." He swallowed and cast his eyes down. "Probably never will."

Ryo leaned his forehead against Cye's, the hand under Torrent's chin sliding to the back of his neck. "It's okay." His voice got even softer, something Cye hadn't thought possible. "I'm not sure I want it, either."

Cye's eyes flicked up, not sure If he'd heard right. The relief coursing through his veins was comparable to the relief of a few hours ago, so much that Cye burrowed into Wildfire again.

Ryo's hand stayed on the back of his neck, other going up and down his spine. "We'll figure it out."

"Yeah… guess we will."

Wildfire pulled back, smiling again once he'd taken in Cye's more relaxed features. "Go to bed. I'll still be here tomorrow."

Cye chuckled and tried not to duck his head— but Ryo kissed his cheek anyway, having known how much he needed to hear that. It was hard not to believe this was a dream and he'd wake up tomorrow with Ryo once again oblivious and him continuing with his life as he'd been content to live it.

Ryo stroked the side of Cye's jaw with the back of his fingers, slowly drawing Torrent's face towards him. Torrent knew what he was trying, his breath too close to Cye's skin to be anything but.

"Not yet."

Ryo paused at Cye's whispered command, still inches away from his lips. He seemed like he was about to protest, only to drop his hand and step back. "Alright."

He searched Wildfire's face for any sign of hurt— Ryo could be more sensitive than he was, about some things— but instead there was nothing but caring. "Thank you."

"Go to sleep," Ryo said softly. "You've earned it."

Cye brought himself to kiss Ryo's cheek, lingering there a moment, before pulling back and starting to get ready for bed. Wildfire was out of the room before Cye even had his shirt off, and Torrent overheard Kento say, "I hope you were in your room!"

The mixed feelings he'd been steadily ignoring came back to the surface, swirling like a whirlpool where one current was his joy at being taken, the other current the amount of opposition he knew they'd face.

It kept him awake for long enough that he heard the door open some time that night. Expecting Kento, Cye paid it no mind and simply braced himself for the light that would soon flood the space as Kento got ready for bed.

To his surprise, Ryo's hand landed on his shoulder, his lips going to Cye's temple. "I love you." In his mind, a place none of the others could hear, he added, ' _Whatever happens, we'll face it together.'_

In the stunned pause that followed, Cye could only get out a quiet _'Thank you'_ before Ryo left.

"You two are disgusting," Kento said from the entry.

Ryo laughed, and Cye could picture his grin. "Better get used to it, Ken!"

Kento groaned.

Finally light flooded the space, and Cye ignored it. Ryo's reassurance brought his exhaustion back up, and he fell asleep before the light went out again.

—

"You sure you want to do this?"

Cye paused his packing, holding in a sigh. "No, but I _am_ sure I don't want to hide this from her."

Ryo wrapped an arm around Cye's shoulders, drawing him close. "Are you scared she'll… do something?"

Cye shook his head. "She wouldn't."

Ryo's lips met his cheek and Cye found himself curling into Wildfire's embrace. Summer vacation meant a few days off, giving them both an opportunity to visit Cye's mom. Normally Cye went alone, but this was the perfect opportunity to come out— and Cye wasn't about to do so without his boyfriend.

Ryo was hesitant in continuing to press the topic. "Then why…"

Torrent pulled away to continue packing. "It's terrifying to tell your mom you're not going to live the life she imagined for you."

There was nothing to say to that. This was one anxiety that Ryo barely had to deal with; while he still had contact with his parents, it was infrequent and often shallow. Cye's mother was the most important person in his life, and the thought of hiding _anything_ from her made him feel sick— let alone something as important as who he was with.

They hadn't even kissed yet, all because Cye didn't feel right unless everyone important in his life at least knew.

He still didn't want to admit how much the thought of facing others scared him.

Ryo noticed Cye had stopped packing on his own accord. Cye blinked when Ryo's arms went around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder. "What is it, love?"

The words didn't want to come out, but the pleading in Wildfire's voice made Cye feel he had no choice but to say it. "I— _we_ — have so much to lose…"

Ryo squeezed him. "A lot to gain, too."

Cye turned in his boyfriend's arms and clung once more, trying not to shake. At least they didn't have to worry about housing right now, with Mia letting them stay with open arms, but Japan had no protection laws. If the wrong people found out, they could be fired, evicted, harassed— all legally. He wouldn't trade Ryo for the world, and they'd already had this conversation, but that didn't make the fears much easier to handle.

"Hey…" Ryo said softly, pulling back to rest their foreheads together. "It won't be like this forever. The whole world's changing."

"I know" was all he could get out in reply. His hand absently tangled in Ryo's hair, trying to get as much comfort out of the touch as possible. Trying to tell himself it would be alright, so long as he wasn't alone. He reluctantly pulled away— forcing himself, really— and went back to packing. "We don't want to be late."

The day-long train ride was quiet, Cye making sure to keep his actions towards Ryo deniably romantic. Over the hours his resolve kept slipping; by the end of seven, he had his head on Ryo's shoulder, half asleep from both the ride and how he'd tossed and turned all night, thinking of this. They held hands instead of getting their arms around each other, something easily let go if they heard anyone coming.

Thank the gods for their armours, allowing comfort when physical touch wasn't available.

His sister picked them up from the station, which simply made a rock form in Cye's stomach.

"How's mom?"

Sayoko gave a noncommittal shrug. "Tired, today. The doctors said her heart got a _little_ frailer, but otherwise she's fine."

Cye swallowed. He'd faced the possibility his mother would die young his whole life, how he might have to be his little sister's legal guardian and the number of times he'd prayed his mother would live until after he turned 20 so he wouldn't have to apply for special permission.

There was still six months left to go, and now he was wondering if it was good for her health to come out right now.

 _'She's not going to have a heart attack with this,'_ Ryo said softly as they got into the car. _'It'll be okay.'_

That didn't silence the _'what if she does'_ in Cye's mind. _'We should've brought Sage.'_

It was meant as a joke, but Ryo picked up on the underlying meaning. _'We won't need him.'_

The drive was filled with idle chatter Cye didn't bother to remember. He was too busy going over what he'd say, how he'd say why Ryo was here— Sayoko hadn't even asked, used to the comings and goings of his friends.

His mother, on the other hand, was a completely different story. She was always interested, and, true to form, the first thing she did after hugging Cye was address her unexpected guest.

"Ryo!" She put her hands on his shoulders, no small feat considering he was nearly a foot taller than her, before pulling him down for a hug. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Wildfire was always much better at making excuses than Cye. "The other guys didn't really have much time off. They're getting ready for university."

"And you're not?"

He half smiled and shook his head. "Not for me."

Cye swallowed, knowing if he didn't do it _now_ he never would. He cleared his throat, voice still coming out uneven when he spoke. "There… there is _one_ other reason…"

His mother was quick to fill the pause Cye left as he gathered up another ounce of courage. "You know you don't need any reasons to bring your friends over!"

"I wanted to…" Cye had been slowly manoeuvring his way to Ryo's side, bolstered by Wildfire's support. "I wanted to spend my vacation with… my boyfriend."

Cye didn't even know if his mother had heard, he had spoken so softly. The resulting pause as he debated if she'd caught his slurred together words— realized she had— watched her face as her eyes flicked to their now loosely entwined hands— was agonizing. He didn't even want to _look_ at Sayoko, the potential reaction of his mother taking all his attention.

She smiled. "I'm happy for you."

Another weight lifted, and Cye hadn't realized the burden he'd been carrying was so heavy. He hugged her tightly, eyes screwed shut to not cry. Sayoko joined them, worming her way under one of his arms.

Almost immediately, she extended a hand. "Welcome to the family, Ryo."

Wildfire sent out its bearer's shock, giving Cye a very good idea what his boyfriend's face looked like at the word "family" being applied to him. A moment later Ryo's arms wrapped around them, cheek against Cye's shoulder. Even though he'd been hiding his nerves, Cye couldn't help but notice just how tightly Ryo was gripping him in relief.

It was long moments before everyone separated, Ryo still with an arm around Cye's waist. His mother was still smiling, still _happy_ , and Cye tried not to choke up with relief.

She tugged on Sayoko's arm. "We should let these boys rest. I'm sure they're hungry after traveling all day."

The rest of the evening dissolved into settling, dinner, and Cye finally being free to go to the beach. He led Ryo by the hand, having convinced Wildfire to go swimming under the stars.

There was also one last person he had to come out to.

Torrent sang at being back home, in the sea Cye had found it in. He was so caught up in the ocean he didn't notice Ryo hung back until he turned to see where Wildfire was.

Before he could throw a quip that he was a lifeguard and could save him if the need arose, he noticed just how _attentive_ Ryo was. He paused and tread, letting his boyfriend catch up.

Ryo put a hand on Cye's waist. "Just when I thought I couldn't love you more."

Cye blushed and cast his eyes down. There was another reason he hadn't let Ryo kiss him yet, one he didn't dare voice for how insecure it was. "So the feeling's still there?"

"More than before," Ryo replied, tipping Cye's chin up. "You were scared?"

He half smiled. "You hadn't been sure, at first…"

"I wouldn't have broken your heart like that." Ryo leaned their foreheads together. "Why I… didn't reply right away. If I was going to say yes, it was going to _mean_ yes."

Cye glanced at his boyfriend, trying not to tear up with relief. Ryo had never kissed anyone, never been with anyone, and almost all of Cye's actions had reflected that— he himself had kissed a girl he only thought he loved, and he didn't want Ryo to make the same mistake.

Just when he was about to _use_ this newfound confidence, Cye felt the water push up under his feet.

Suiki sent them flying, cheerful chirp mixing with the ear-popping _thwap_ of hitting water. One too many pranks from the orca had him twisting in mid air to take the hit on his shoulder in such a way it _wouldn't_ dislocate.

Panic from Wildfire told him Ryo hadn't fared so well. Before he could get his bearings back— lifeguard instincts already sliding into place— happy clicks filled the air. Suiki had Ryo balanced on her head, him catching his breath.

Despite irritation at the surprise, Cye really couldn't stay upset at one of his oldest friends. She eased Ryo back into the water, Cye only briefly stopping to check in before he went to hug the orca who, inadvertently, had helped him meet the man of his dreams by helping him find Torrent.

Once she'd bumped him in the chest, he relayed the information. His stomach flip flopped as Suiki took it all in, turning one eye to Ryo—

Before swimming over and gently nudging his chest, staying close so he could wrap his arms around her.

Cye exhaled. "She likes you."

Ryo chuckled. "Yeah. Good enough for your friend, am I?"

She responded with assuring clicks.

Ryo remembered how to scratch her, placing him even farther in Suiki's good books. Cye swam over to the slightly warmer water around the two, Wildfire strong enough to combat even the ocean's chill.

She left them after what felt like only a few minutes, but from the moon rising up over the water, it had been at least an hour.

Ryo pulled him closer as she left. She noticed and added on a teasing tail splash as a parting gift.

Cye shook his head to get the water out, laughing. He used some of Torrent's strength to splash her back, earning him a series of clicks and squeals that sounded like laughter.

"She really likes you, huh?" Ryo said softly, drawing Cye that inch closer so they were firmly in each others arms.

Cye nodded. "She likes you, too."

Ryo laughed, voice not any louder than before. "Would've sent me back to the beach if she didn't, right?"

Another nod. Just like how White Blaze made his impressions of others very clear, Suiki was the same. Sending him back to the beach was the _nicest_ she did to people she didn't like. Cye shuddered to think what would happen to someone or something who tried to harm him. She was an apex predator and had already used those skills to defend him.

"You're smiling again."

He snapped out of his memories and frowned. "I'd stopped?"

Ryo brought a hand to his jaw, cradling it. "When you were thinking. I'm… glad to see it again."

He'd been more scared than he wanted to admit about this meeting, and now it had gone better than even in his wildest dreams. His smile got stronger as he leaned his forehead against his boyfriend's. "I'm glad they all accepted you."

A small chuckle, Wildfire's hand moving to the back of Cye's neck. "Would've stayed even if they didn't."

His breath caught. Cye could feel himself melting into Ryo's warmth, between Wildfire easing the ocean's chill and the adoration in his eyes. The blue was brighter than the sea around them, practically glittering in the moonlight.

Words spilled out, words that had caught in his throat from too much fear and uncertainty every time he'd tried to say them before. "I love you."

The corners of Ryo's eyes crinkled with a smile. Gently, softly, he pulled Cye closer, Cye following not with eagerness, but with trust.

His lips tasted like the sea, amplified by it all around them. Torrent reached out and held to Wildfire, both of them lazily treading. It wasn't Cye's first kiss but it felt like it, and like everything else of today, it exceeded his wildest dreams.

"I love you, too."


End file.
